The joke of the day

Hello mates!


Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. ~Victor Borge

When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other. ~Alan Alda

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. ~Kurt Vonnegut

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. ~Irish Proverb


Let's smile ...let's laugh...let's crack jokes!

Hallo buddies!
Here is a joke!

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave.

The wife smiles, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down!"


It's your turn now!

You're welcom Hush!

A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

"How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Hello Big brouther! I'm dearly delighted for your comliments but I guess I'm not that brilliant,indeed.
Thank you and all mates !

Jokes !! thank you. I love them, please post more.

Hey mates! It seems that I'll be as real gramma!!
Let's crack an more

A stupid guy bought an a.m radio and after a month he realized that he can listen to the radio at night.

Hi mates!


Chinese Jews


Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are Jews, and were

at a Chinese restaurant in Shanghai.

"Oscar," asked Benjamin, "Are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know," Oscar replied.

"Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Benjamin asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews here in Shanghai?"

"I don't know sir, let me check," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir.No Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Benjamin asked.

"I will check again, sir" the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Oscar said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China ,our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Benjamin asked again.
"I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I asked everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, apple Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever.Actually,I've never heard of Chinese Jews! If you want, we have Chinese Tea."

thanks, funny jokes

Here's mine: Q=what do you call a sheep without legs
A= A cloud

hahaha try not to laugh because I am a sheep

My pleasure !

Q: What happens when you throw a white stone at a salt lake at night?
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A: It gets wet!

come on man!
you got me in this one..

A woman went to a fortune teller who told her that her husband would die after two months.
Shocked,she asked him"Shall I be acquitted?"
hihhihihihihi...

What's the difference between Chorba and Omelette?
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Everyone can make an Omelette!

ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahah! I'm dyin!

-Good morning Mimi!
-Good morning Toto!
-If you guess how many candies I have in my pocket,I give you the two of them.
-You have two!
-Who told you?!?!?!

After gettnig out of a "taxi phone", the woman asked the other:

_ How can you trust the guy with your number for "flexy"?
_Don't worry..
_And why's that?
_Because I give him the wrong number.

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.

He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

OK Nounette..after i cheated-of course-i think that rabbits don't wear glasses because they have vitamin C but because they eat carrots..so your question was meant as:
why do they say that carrots are good for eyes?

a nice one by the way..

Hi The Youth !! Yes that's what I want to say sorry I forgot the word Carrots !!

And Sorry Again Mates !! I was fasting !! And very tired !! And the effect of the Bac !! It's not the vitamin "c" but vitamin "A" !!

wow gr8 job mates . u really make me laughing .........lol