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The joke of the day

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The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:00 am

Hello mates!


Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. ~Victor Borge

When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other. ~Alan Alda

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. ~Kurt Vonnegut

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. ~Irish Proverb


Let's smile ...let's laugh...let's crack jokes! aouaou1
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:30 am

Hallo buddies!
Here is a joke!

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave.

The wife smiles, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down!"

aouaou1

It's your turn now!
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Hush on Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:27 am

Smile thanks Clear-headed
Hush
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:07 pm

You're welcom Hush!

A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

"How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Wink
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Big brother on Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:39 am

Clear-Headed your are fabulous

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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:56 am

Hello Big brouther! I'm dearly delighted for your comliments but I guess I'm not that brilliant,indeed.
Thank you and all mates !
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Ezinma on Sun Aug 16, 2009 3:03 am

Jokes !! Smile thank you. I love them, please post more.
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:41 pm

Hey mates! It seems that I'll be as real gramma!!
Let's crack an more

A stupid guy bought an a.m radio and after a month he realized that he can listen to the radio at night.
nyahaha
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:38 am

Hi mates!


Chinese Jews


Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are Jews, and were

at a Chinese restaurant in Shanghai.

"Oscar," asked Benjamin, "Are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know," Oscar replied.

"Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Benjamin asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews here in Shanghai?"

"I don't know sir, let me check," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir.No Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Benjamin asked.

"I will check again, sir" the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Oscar said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China ,our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Benjamin asked again.
"I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I asked everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, apple Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever.Actually,I've never heard of Chinese Jews! If you want, we have Chinese Tea."
aouaou1
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Shaun on Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:28 am

coooleuh thanks, funny jokes

Here's mine: Q=what do you call a sheep without legs
A= A cloud

hahaha aouaou1 try not to laugh because I am a sheep
Shaun
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:57 pm

My pleasure !

Q: What happens when you throw a white stone at a salt lake at night?
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A: It gets wet!
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by the youth on Sun Aug 23, 2009 5:21 pm

come on man!
you got me in this one..
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Thu Aug 27, 2009 1:34 am

A woman went to a fortune teller who told her that her husband would die after two months.
Shocked,she asked him"Shall I be acquitted?"
nyahaha hihhihihihihi...
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Sat Aug 29, 2009 1:34 pm

What's the difference between Chorba and Omelette? Question
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Everyone can make an Omelette! Razz
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Guest on Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:06 pm

ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahah! I'm dyin!

Guest
Guest


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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:56 pm

-Good morning Mimi!
-Good morning Toto!
-If you guess how many candies I have in my pocket,I give you the two of them.
-You have two!
-Who told you?!?!?!
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by the youth on Mon Aug 31, 2009 6:47 pm

After gettnig out of a "taxi phone", the woman asked the other:

_ How can you trust the guy with your number for "flexy"?
_Don't worry..
_And why's that?
_Because I give him the wrong number.
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:07 pm

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.

He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:30 am

Hi mates,

A
ventriloquist was making fun of his teacher with his dummy in the classroom. Then the angry teacher
stood up in front of him , rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled, "I resent
that!"



The ventriloquist started apologizing to the teacher.


The teacher looked at him and said, " You stay out of this, I'm talking to the guy on your lap!!!!
Clear-headed
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Nounette on Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:21 pm

Hi mates I liked those jokes really they are very very funny !!!!!! Now who can answer my question ?
Why they said that Vitamin C is good for eyes (view) ?
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Don't cheat !! Answer first !!
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Hi don't cheat I see !! you want to cheat don't forget what the Prophet said in that !!
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Oh my God !! Ok I'll tell you what the prophet (P.B.U.H) said : (من غشنا فليس منا)
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Ok you're impatient I'll give you the answer
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So no answer just try and don't be stupid !! Please !!
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Simply!! Have you already seen a rabbit that wear glasses ?
Nounette
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by the youth on Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:01 pm

OK Nounette..after i cheated-of course-i think that rabbits don't wear glasses because they have vitamin C but because they eat carrots..so your question was meant as:
why do they say that carrots are good for eyes?

a nice one by the way..
the youth
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Nounette on Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:17 pm

Hi The Youth !! Yes that's what I want to say sorry I forgot the word Carrots !!
7achma
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Nounette on Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:19 pm

And Sorry Again Mates !! I was fasting !! And very tired !! And the effect of the Bac !! It's not the vitamin "c" but vitamin "A" !!
7achma
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Clear-headed on Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:18 am

Hi, thank you Nounette,it's really funny though!
My aim of posting jokes is not only to make you laugh.it's mainly to learn new words and exressions because jokes stick in mind easily.
let's crack another one!



Q:What's blue and fluffy?
A:Blue fluff!
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Re: The joke of the day

Post by Londonhbb on Sat Oct 03, 2009 1:59 pm

wow gr8 job mates . u really make me laughing .........lol
Londonhbb
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Re: The joke of the day

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