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Soledad (Group discussion)

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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Thu Nov 08, 2012 8:39 pm

Wow that'sreally really encouraging and I'm really flattered. Thank you SOOOOOOOO much for the interest you're giving to my story, I do appreciate all your words and remarks.

Well, let's start with Farid. This man is the owner of a small design shop (atelier de couture). I was first going to answer "he is Soledad's first love" and then I thought "Wow, wow let's be careful with words. They are friends and work together occasionally for some design projects -that's not my answer; it's the answer of Soledad and Farid- Wink "

You'll see all this on the right time Wink

As for your dream, someday I'll tell you why you have all of its details still so clear and vivid in your mind. Very Happy

Suspense!!!
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by princess smile24 on Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:37 am

Nice to see Soledad here again.........keep on writing sweety, Good Luck Wink
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by Karim_Rap_4_Life on Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:38 pm

sassy86 wrote:Wow that'sreally really encouraging and I'm really flattered. Thank you SOOOOOOOO much for the interest you're giving to my story, I do appreciate all your words and remarks.

Well, let's start with Farid. This man is the owner of a small design shop (atelier de couture). I was first going to answer "he is Soledad's first love" and then I thought "Wow, wow let's be careful with words. They are friends and work together occasionally for some design projects -that's not my answer; it's the answer of Soledad and Farid- Wink "

You'll see all this on the right time Wink

As for your dream, someday I'll tell you why you have all of its details still so clear and vivid in your mind. Very Happy

Suspense!!!

ohhhhh don't thank me we should thank you for your efforts we did nothing except learning from your writings okay and i want to say that you've a rich dictionary god bless you

yow please tell me about that dream it really means so much to me bliiiiiiiiiiiiiz hehehe Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:51 pm

You're an angel Karim! Bless you

Now, the dream. When you do recollect a dream very very well and all its details are so vivid (even if you say you dreamt of it when you were 6), it means that you are having each time what we call a déjà vu .
You are still dreaming of it but you just don't remember it when waking up. Anyway, it's a bit complex. I have read a good deal about dreams when I worked on Freud for my thesis and having had a dream that I do recollect very well (like you do), this pushed me to look for it. And now I do have this recurrent dream only when being ill and I know that I didn't have it when I was young but I'm still having it now

Lol Let's stop here, people would think we're crazy
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by Karim_Rap_4_Life on Fri Nov 09, 2012 9:10 pm

hehehehehe it's casual things every one talk like crazy about dreams especially the fantastic one like mine hehehehe
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sabine on Sun Nov 11, 2012 6:36 pm

Hi again sassy I finished reading the last part of your wonderful story, last night. I'm really loving and appreciating it. God bless you sister and reward you with the best

Well, I reread the whole story and come with my impressions, some remarks and questions
* in this part, you have introduced another character who's Farid. we don't know much about him but I'll not anticipate things. I know that you'll tell us more about him on the right moment.

* I don't know why when I have first read this sentence "Soledad's ways were very messy indeed but then she was still delicate and gracious", it just remind me of you (just kidding) Wink

*Miscipsa is eager to know everything and to play with small stuffs. So, we can clearly feel his curiosity. He seems so cute and I'm loving him

*Machaa allah, your vivid description makes us feel as if we take part in your story. Thanks to your fully described scenes I felt solé's solitude, loneliness and deep sadness. eventhough she wants to show that she is strong, she is indeed weak, sensitive and hurt (as if she's just hiding her weakness and showing that "everything is OK").
Perhaps her ability to "digest bitterness" is just a way to escape facing the harsh reality and ,in some way, to adapt herself to her environment. She is quite sure that she cannot change her father's attitudes. So, the only solution for her is to digest things. We also feel that behind Solé's laughter lays a deep wound.
*we feel that both solé and Miscipsa are victims of the selfishness of their parents.
* I'm sure of Solédad's kindness because she do care for others feelings and doesn't want them to be hurt. (her care for Miscipsa and her fear that her father hurts him with his words. another example is when she prefers to cry quietly rather than her aunt hears her. she prefers to be tortured rather than to see the others hurt. she is neither hypocrite nor heartless

*Now, I'm eager to know more about her and her mysterious father. I want to know the extent to which their relationship is complex. Bacha seems a harsh and merciless man. But is he totally harsh or does anything else (that we don't know, yet) lay behind his attitudes?
what pushes him to be so harsh with the closest persons to him i.e his daughter and sister? does his idea of the incompatibility of his sister's marriage with the officer she loves implies that he's a materialistic man?

Embarassed bla bla bla bla ( I spoke too much)

Carry on the good work sister (you're an amazing friend and you're sooooooooo talented)

Good luck

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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:56 pm

My swet doll has finally commented the story, and God knows how dear and valuable your comments are for me!

What I really liked about your analysis is that you are waiting to see how Bacha is indeed! And this is, I think, a very common mistake people do when they tend to classify people into complete evils or total angels!


As for Soledad, you this Soledad is me?? hehehe My colleagues (coz I've given them the story) keep asking me the same question LOL

Well, let us see... Wink

What I can tell you for the moment is that I really do have a cousin named Micipsa
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sabine on Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:10 pm

Thank you dear your comment Embarassed all the pleasure is mine sister.
Definitively, I always want to keep judgements to the end. who knows perhaps Bacha is a good man but under X conditions he became harsh!!!!!

Cannot wait to read you
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:34 pm

Hey there! I know you're mad at me Very Happy Don't worry, gonna post very very soon. KARIM, ASPIRE???? where are you guys????
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sabine on Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:03 am

ENFIN lol. so happy to read you darling. I'll be ASP back with my analysis (now I'm a bit busy)

thank you sister for sharing it
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Fri Nov 30, 2012 9:17 pm

lol So sorry, I was too busy and not really in the mood of writing anything. It makes me so happy that you guys were waiting for the rest. I really moves me

I hope you'll love this part
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:55 pm

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS ??????
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sabine on Sun Dec 02, 2012 7:12 pm

Oooooooooooh my tender sister you can't imagine how much I loved this part and how much I'm proud of you It's just wooooooooow. in each episode you're impressing me more and more. machaa allah. I'm really feeling your story and living it.

This part makes me very sad. Solé's loneliness makes me sad (she seems like a so lonely broken hearted girl) I really put myself in the place of Solé.(hats off sassy, you're making us live the story) eventhough she seems selfish in her behaviour , I am sure that she has a good essence and that she is even kinder than we imagine. (elle a une trés forte personnalité) We cannot judge her of being selfish since we don't know yet what pushes her to treat her mother in such a way. she prefers to cry quietly rather than her mother sees her. she prefers to be tortured ALONE. Come on!! do you interpret such a behaviour as "selfish"!!!!!!!!

it's the same thing for Bacha we must keep judgement to the end. I think since Solé is defending her father (who seems to be very harsh) means something!!!!

Solé's relationship with Farid is still mysterious and the image is not well constructed, yet.

Sassy I cannot wait anymore I want the next episode ASP (suspense is killing me) Wink

bravo bravo sister
love ya my doll
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by aspire on Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:28 am

Sassy! don't be mad! patience is a virtue.
most of us work like 'niggers' and barely snatch a few moments to post a word.
I do appreciate your energy in writing, and think this part is the most imp. as it reveals the 'true' character of soledad! quite appealing Sassy, congrats. Frankly, I don't know yet what you intend for this girl. Her attitude to maria is ambiguous, she says that she misses her, yet she revolts against her tender feelings for her, and is arrogant and patronising in her discussion with her. She doesn't like her to talk about Bacha. she doesn't like her to meddle (like most tender mothers do)in her intimate relation, etc etc etc. The reader can't help sympathizing with maria at the expense of Soledad. What is she up to? Any compensating qualities in her that will endear her to us again? we're waiting PATIENTLY!! ::smiles::

Your language runs like fresh water down thirsty men's throats. keep up!

In your place i would omit the words in red (see below) and correct the typing mistakes in yellow or replace them with more appropriate ones. I enjoyed readin you Sassy, and my comments which are between brackets in your text are just an amateur's, so don't take them too seriously





When it came to her mother, Soledad had still a reprehensible bitterness governing her heart. 'She abandoned me', as she would often soliloquize when feeling her despicable heart( find this word too strong, i think we use it to mean evil and utterly grotesque) sweeten. 'She left me alone with him. And yet, why? Bacha is not that hard to handle', trying to convince herself though pertinently knowing that no living person could bear his moody temper. No living person, except Soledad. Bearing anything except loneliness. Loneliness...was her name.

***

Having long hesitated in the taxi whether to visit Maria or take Micipsa to the zoo, she finally asked the taxi driver to drop them off on Quartier Racine, the most "bon chic bon genre" quartier of Casablanca.
She turned to Micispsa confused but smiling.

'Micipsa...We will go to see my mom first. I miss her... You miss your mommy too, right? You promise me not to tell Bacha?'

The little boy nodded though not really grasping her words, his attention being too (much) absorbed by the the adventures his cousine (cousin)has (had) listed last night (the night before).

When the taxi parked (pulled off), Soledad was no longer herself, her (usually / habitually) harmonious gestures were mechanical, her expressive smiles were suddenly empty. A mysterious force within her assisted her to go into the luxurious building, get into the elevator. She has forgotten about Micipsa who was commenting on almost everything he saw for the first time. She has forgotten about the whole world. She approached the door bell and took a long breath and whispered :"let us have this done".

A beautiful woman, who seemed to have known better days, appeared and clung tenderly to Soledad. The latter smiled briefly and with a discreet gesture getting herself out to put an end to what seemed (repetition ; ‘was likely’) to turn into a cathartic ( this is positive, relief from strong emotions, did u mean ‘pathetic ?) scene.

'Look who came with me!", trying to shift her mother's attention to Micipsa.
'Oh! Mon enfant! Come to me!". Maria kissed him and turned to Solé and whispered:
'He will tell your father'
'No, he won't!', annoyed by the remark.
'I was just worried that...'
'Don't be', Soledad cut her off.

Following Maria, the visitors entered a warm and cozy Moroccan/Spanish living room decorated with wooden beams making an exquisite contrast with the white ceiling and walls. The Micipsa couldnot wait to be invited to sit on the brown leather (leather upholstered / leather covered) chair and touch the zebra ottoman.

Soledad saw nothing of that.At least, Maria could feel proud of her apartement staring at the little boy who was exploring the weird decorations on the table.

'So...How are you?', Solé finally said.
'Oh, I'm fine...When you come, yes. I am'

Soledad turned her face, as if to look for that mysterious interior force.Consternation struck her unwillingly (think this word is redundant coz consternation never comes at will) this time as Micipsa picked up a doll that Maria has apparently forgotten to hide:

'What is this?!'

Maria looking quite confused replied:

'Oh, it's your cousine Sophia who brought the...these days...well, she brings her daughter and ...'
'What?!You really...?'
'Oh! Stop that immediatly. She is my niece and I told you! Why don't you treat her as such?!'
'My cousine?'
'Solé, you are so selfish! I stayed here for you and I left my people for you'
'No Maria! Oh no! You left them for dad!'

Maria seemed very hurt when Solé called her by her name and reminded her of Bacha. Having realized that, Soledad decided to
make a 'truce'.

'Okay mom (think that ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ should be capitalized when used as addresses), that's just too much for me. I will not come again if she comes too. We are different and...'
'Different? I'm your mother! Why don't you understand? Why does (doesn’t ??) your father understand this?'
'Don't talk about him'.
'Why does he...'
'I told you, don't talk about him! What do you want him to understand?'
'Understand that she has a cute girl with someone she loves!'
'So that's how you call it? I will tell you how I call it: that Sophia is sick, she clung on (on to) a married man who is her father's age and had a... had a girl with him'
'Soledad!', Maria gnowled (growled ??).
'I told you we are so different', laughing as this seemed to heritate her mother more and more.

Maria trying to justify added:

'I did not day that I am approving of her conduct but she is my niece and she is your cousine.'

At this moment Soledad wished if she could say one of those bitter words that one would often regret having uttered and just
thought :'I wish I didn't come at (in) the first place'.

'Mom, let's do this: Do whatever you want and I will do so and we will be both very happy.'

At such instances, Soledad ironic smiles were indeed so annoying as they denoted a fake sincerity.

'I must go now', searching her bag for no reason except avoiding her mother.
'Come on, don't be silly Solé', said Maria holding her hand.

That bitter voice again Reader within her 'Silly indeed as I came here'.

But then she just smiled and said:

'I have too many things to do today and I have to go to the workshop.'
'Oh! How are things going? And how is Farid? Are things serious between you two?'
'Yes, very serious. Work is serious they say, no?'
'Come on! You won't tell your mommy?', trying to bribe her daughter.

'We are friends mom (Mom). And please don't talk to him about me when you go there... Look, it's never going to be serious as long as my family does unserious things'. Now Solé looking very sad, tried to avoid her mother and get to the door, felt she would
cry if she won't go out quickly.

'Wait!', Maria holding her hand 'Mi hijo (hija), wait! Why do you say that Solé? Did he say anything about Sophia?'
'No mom.'
'So what is it then?'
'Nothing mom! I have to go. I will call you. Come Micipsa. Say bye'.

Maria kissed the boy and turned to her daughter and whispered:

'Do you need...?'
'Money?. No, thanks. Kiss me mom. Bye'
'Bye! Say bye Micipsa',trying to put on a happy face.

On the elevator, Soledad could not help shedding a tear. Alluding to Farid, Maria made the visit as painful as ever.
Soledad wished she could open up to Maria but then she would have called her 'selfish' again.

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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by Karim_Rap_4_Life on Thu Dec 06, 2012 12:59 pm

03.

Sorry to be late

What I understand is that Soledad can be flexible with anything but Loneliness. She doesn’t like to be lonely a good point which makes the reader notice that Soledad is an extrovert person and sociable though she is so far from living alone and this is a main aspect of figuring out somebody’s personality.

I’m not Bragging or something but I believe that the end is like what I expect Bacha is a good man though his cruel behaviour and his ignorance toward Miscipsa but I’m sure he’s good inside and what he do is for a reasons only the story teller knows that! Or still have doubts!!! BTW it’s the same thing I face in making my story!

I guess that Soledad still love Maria so much and she’s bleeding inside for the absence of her mother no we should not say the absence of her mother we’d rather say ….em what? The story will tell. Sassy I am really confused about the meaning of the conversation between Solé and Maria the fact I repeated this part more than four times but could not get the right meaning exactly this one:


'Okay mom, that's just too much for me. I will not come again if she comes too. We are different and...'

'Different? I'm your mother! Why don't you understand? Why does your father understand this?'

'Don't talk about him'.

'Why does he...'

'I told you, don't talk about him! What do you want him to understand?'

'Understand that she has a cute girl with someone she loves!'

'So that's how you call it? I will tell you how I call it: that Sophia is sick, she clung on a married man who is her father's age and had a... had a girl with him'

'Soledad!', Maria gnowled.

'I told you we are so different', laughing as this seemed to heritate her mother more and more.



But I’m sure I will get it when I read the rest of the story of course that’s why I don’t ask you now to explain it coz this will diminish my excitement to read the rest haha! It seems that Soledad hate Sophia for a reason that she’s rebellious or a disobedient for the matter that she’s a girl with a lover. Here you’d rather explain the case of Sophia and why Solé dislike her!

Soledad could not help shedding a tear. Alluding to Farid, Maria made the visit as painful as ever.

Soledad wished she could open up to Maria but then she would have called her 'selfish' again.


What I expect from this is Farid is the key of the troublesome Sophia and misjudged Solé. I am not sure but it’s only my own interpretation but as usual the key itself is on the hands of our beloved story teller Sassy, so I congratulate you again for your efforts and interest to show us how your capabilities are great and developed. You Know how to get your characters alive using a dead letters but a nice vivid expressions! So great and nice as usual I must confess this one is hard to be interpreted not like the previous ones and for the reason I swear I don’t know whether I’m the problem or you’re the problem since your expression’s mechanism is complicated and built on a high level. I told you before don’t be fast in writing take your
time. Sometimes the inspiration comes at once and sometimes you can’t even say a simple meaningful sentence due to your personal life and this is what I’m going through can’t read, interpret, write this is normal to everybody else…keep it up yow one of the golden pieces of Algeria most talented writers.
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:21 pm

Hey guys!! First, I'm really sorry for having been absent (and I'll be absent again for some days. I've never been that busy).
Your comments really really cheer me up! YOU are the best friends ever! This is for all of you

I'll start with my Sabinou Razz


FOR SABINE:


What a fine reader you are! You know how much I love your passion for literature and your analysis! I can't really comment on what you've said because it's just what I wanted to communicate through this post. (Quoi que je pense que t'es un peux avantagé sur les autres car tu me connais dans la vrai vie lol nkhalouhou f'ster Wink
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:41 pm


For Aspire


Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOO much for your comments and remarks! They are so helpful and valuable !

I want to give you some hints concerning the relationship between Maria and Soledad. Maria and Bacha are separated, they live separately. This happened 4 years ago. And I have made it clear that Bacha doesn't want Soledad to visit her mother. Soledad has just learnt (or is still learning) to get used to her new life. Life taught her not to become attached to people who leave but to those who stay with her. She misses her mother but she doesn't want to express those feelings which would just make her weak in her long way of patience and courage.

***
As to the mistakes you've corrected, I'm really grateful to you! Bless you !!!!!!!
There are some which are correct though.

Despicable heart (I meant a kind and weak heart which often betrays her).

These are correct:
getting herself out means 'se dégager' .
cathartic
(No, I really do mean cathartic. She doesn't want to let her emotions out)

growled (Yes, I really mean growl. It means yell . 'grogner' )
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:53 pm

For Karim: And also the other mates It's important coz it's about SOPHIA
You're too kind Karim and very attentive as usual. Look again to the conversation and you'll see that I've made a mistake.

'Okay mom, that's just too much for me. I will not come again if she comes too. We are different and...'

'Different? I'm your mother! Why don't you understand? Why doesn't your father understand this?'

'Don't talk about him'.

'Why does he...'

'I told you, don't talk about him! What do you want him to understand?'

'Understand that she has a cute girl with someone she loves!'

'So that's how you call it? I will tell you how I call it: that Sophia is sick, she clung on a married man who is her father's age and had a... had a girl with him'

'Soledad!', Maria gnowled.

'I told you we are so different', laughing as this seemed to heritate her mother more and more.



Concerning Sophia

Sophia is a spanish girl. Soledad is a spanish AND moroccan girl. Sophia is the nice of Maria (Soledad's mother).

So since Sophia is a pure spanish girl (unlike Soledad) she has a different behavior. She acts as a European girl would.
Sophia is in a relation with a married man, and she had a girl with him.
See what soledad tries to say before qualifying Sophia's daughter. She almost used a word and then she changed her mind.
Soledad is not approving of this relation because she just simply can't approve anything her father is against.

Soledad knows that she's different from Sophia.
If you ask her if she's Spanish, that's what she would tell you :"I'm my father's daughter".

Other clarifications coming on the next episode Wink


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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sabine on Thu Dec 06, 2012 7:23 pm

Hiiiiiii sweet girl! we're missing you dear may allah help you sister (I can imagine the pressure u're living under) rebi m3ak.

Thank you darling for your comment you're the kindest girl I've ever met
"Quoi que je pense que t'es un peux avantagé sur les autres car tu me connais dans la vrai vie lol nkhalouhou f'ster"

héhéhé I also think so.
May allah reward you with the best dear friend
love ya
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by princess smile24 on Fri Dec 07, 2012 10:40 pm

Very interesting sassy, just keep doing it. Well done.
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by aspire on Sat Dec 08, 2012 12:51 am

This is my favourite, Sassy 86:

'Oh! How are things going? And how is Farid? Are things serious between you two?'
'Yes, very serious. Work is serious they say, no?'


a master stroke un vrai coup de maitre.

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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:00 pm

For my sweet dolls Sabinou and Princess God bless those kind hearts!

@ Aspire: You're so so so so kind !!!!!! Your words keep me moving on!
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by Karim_Rap_4_Life on Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:54 pm

hello anybody here...........too simply I see this sweet home deserted ooooooh I'm going I'm afraid coz i dislike empty homes hahaha
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sabine on Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:26 pm

Hiiii karim. I dislike such empty homes, too hahaha. In fact, I was here all the time but I felt just like I was aloooooooone publishing and commenting for myself Crying or Very sad so, I'll be back when YOU (active members) will be back Wink
.
.
.
.
.
waiting......
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Re: Soledad (Group discussion)

Post by sassy86 on Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:37 pm

Look at the presure my two favourite teasers are putting on me LOL

Don't worry I'll be right back SOON. You know guys how my life has completely changed recently and I'm just so so so so so busy but following you whenever I have some time for myself. Big kiss
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